The Savory City

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How my parents met

My dad and I were driving home in the car together this afternoon and we started talking about how life is determined by a series of interconnected events. Dad and I always have our most philosophical conversations when we're driving. Maybe it's because the action of driving and physically moving forward gets people thinking more deeply. I know I do my best thinking while driving. Or maybe it's because sitting in the car together is one of the special times we get to chat alone.

As I was saying, whatever the reason, we were talking about interconnected events. Our lives-- where we are at this moment-- are essentially determined and made possible by countless events that occurred in the past. Every decision, every act, every coincidence in our lives has led up to this moment.

As promised by the title, this blog post is about the way my parents met. With that stated, I'm sure you have connected the dots and gathered by now that my parents met through coincidence, and you're right. I've heard this story hundreds of times before from both my mom and my dad. Hearing my dad tell the story today though was the first time though that I thought of it in terms of a coincidence. I never really thought about how close they came to not meeting and how that would ultimately change all our lives.

Picture it: Manila, 1986. My mom is a single girl working as an accountant at Equitable Bank. My dad is a young bachelor from San Francisco on a 3-week vacation in the Philippines (Dad moved to California from the Philippines with his family when he was 11).

Dad asked his cousin Cherry, who worked at Equitable with Mom, to play tour guide and show him around Manila. Cherry then had the brilliant (at least in my opinion) idea of introducing Mom to her cousin from the States. Wonderful. Delightful. Charming. There was only one problem: Mom didn't want to meet him. Actually, she didn't want to get set up with anyone. She was perfectly happy and enjoying her single, carefree life.

When it came time for them to get together and have lunch one day, Mom told Cherry for the umpteenth time that she didn't want to meet him. Mom also knew that Cherry never took no for an answer, so she spent the day hiding out on another floor in her office building, waiting for Dad and Cherry to get tired and leave for lunch without her. She hoped that they would take the hint and leave without her so that they can all go on peacefully with the rest of their lives. And they might have. This is what almost happened. Of course, "almost" is the operative word here. Without "almost," they wouldn't have gotten married, had 2 children, and I wouldn't be sitting here typing up this story. Thank God for "almosts."

Back to the story. Mom was hiding out on another floor, shooting the breeze with some of her friends. After several minutes, she figured that they were probably gone and she decided to step out and grab some lunch for herself. Lucky for us, her timing was off. They had been waiting in the lobby for quite a long time before Cherry gave up trying to find Mom. They were literally just on their way out the door, when they bumped right smack into her. Oops! They exchanged an awkward introduction and a few embarrassed laughs. Of course, Mom had no choice now but to put on a smile and go out to lunch with them. It all worked out in the end. Apparently Mom and Dad liked each other enough to get married and later become...well, my mom and dad.

23 years later, Dad and I were sitting in a car and talking about how that coincidence changed all of our lives. I think technically, I wouldn't even have one otherwise. If Mom had brought her own lunch to work that day, or if she hesitated another 10 seconds, or if Dad and Cherry decided to leave earlier...who knows what would have happened? Mom would probably still be living in the Philippines and have a different family, Dad would have probably gone home and married someone else. They would be contentedly spending the rest of their lives unaware that one coincidence, one missed chance would have given them completely different lives.

Then again, I bet these things happen every day without us noticing.